Easier to overhear than to converse

Most of the Dutch speak English, to the extent that they pretty much categorically refuse to let me practice my Dutch by about a half-sentence into any given conversation. And by "most of the Dutch" I of course mean "students and shopkeepers."

Blue-collar workers, however, don't generally have any need to keep up their Engels skills.

On the one hand, this is cool, as it forces me to really dig into my vocabulary and hone my listening comprehension skills whenever a repairman crosses my path. On the other, it makes me sound like a fool.

Especially over the phone.

Usually, my Dutch phone conversations are limited to me saying "he's not here" or "I'll go get him," since no one ever calls for me. But today a plumber phoned up—let's call him Henk—and launched into a lengthy, mostly one-sided conversation that went something like this:

me: hallo.
Henk: grble scharben Sarphatistraat 674 hartshmink walls -
me: uh, this is Sarphatistraat 682.
Henk: kolachedm smifften under-neighbors itsje water on the ceiling gijdesch korble come upstairs -
me: uh huh...
Henk: brijter kerbing op niedepor take a look at prijstenk rarster -
me: uh. huh.
Henk:
me:
Henk: sortgrap eenarm -
me: i, um. i don't speak a whole lot of Dutch.
Henk: your under neighbors, in 674, they have a laaking so i will come up to take a look.
me: that sounds. that would be great. yeah.
Henk: ok see you soon!
me: yeah. bye!

Henk popped round a few minutes later, covered in plaster and exceedingly interested in our floors. I was able to tell him that "it hasn't been wet," and that "a plumber should be coming here but i don't know why or when," but he didn't seem very impressed with my information. I called my roommate and offered to put him on the phone with Henk, who looked doubtful.

"He speaks Nederlands?" Henk asked.

"Ja," I said. Their conversation was, from what I could follow, about 40% about me and my communication skills.

"Your floor is not wet," Henk told me as he collected his tools.

"Nope," I agreed.

"You don't have a leak," he assured me.

"Great!" I said, and he left.

We have someone coming to look at the oven later this week. Maybe I should study or something.