The Big Not-As-Easy-As-It-Looks

I love seeing pictures of NBA players doing things—anything, really—in street clothes. On the court, their sheer size and gangliness is usually obscured by their baggy uniforms and similarly large teammates; it's easier to assume that the league hires midget referees than it is to grasp the hugeness of these ballers.

So I've been enjoying all the pictures from NBA All-Star weekend in New Orleans, when a bunch of the league's hottest players took some time off to help with the rebuilding effort. My favorite link is, a video of highlights from the NBA Cares day. What you can learn from this video:

1. NBA players are fragile, so you must encase them in plastic.
   
2. NBA players basically all could have backup careers as painters. These guys don't need ladders at all—watch Dirk Nowitzki paint an entire room without even having to stetch!
3. BUT, NBA players appear to be generally horrible at painting. I had to avert my eyes when watching Steve Nash and Jason Kidd slap paint on a door. Dad, actually, please just avoid this video entirely.
4. And, there's always the danger that a reporter will come along and disctract your player/worker at a photogenic moment, which will both waste time and result in him scratching the hell out of the window he's supposed to be cleaning.
5. Still, I might not mind living in a patchily painted house, as long as I got to tell visitors, "See that dent in the top of the doorframe? That's where LeBron James banged his head while carrying a bucket of caulk."